Chicago Muslim Parent

Adjusting to a new baby: some sanity tips from the trenches

2011-12-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been a month since we welcomed our son into our home, and it's amazing how much there is to learn with each new addition to the family.

Prior to his birth, I thought I had everything planned out. I had spent the bulk of Ramadan and the months afterward decluttering my home. I had cooked a couple of meals (not enough though) and frozen them to deal with the busy days after his birth. My baby bag was packed weeks before, diapers purchased, a couple of new outfits, caps, and undershirts included, as well as my clothes.

Well, babies are hardly ever predictable, and if I was under the illusion that I could simply manage another child with good preparation, boy was I ever wrong!

For starters, I had forgotten in five years how completely dependent a newborn is. I'd say that's the hardest part. I cannot sit and check email in peace, let alone write this post without having him lie next to me in his crib, while he is still crying.

And yes, the crying. It's enough to make you go mad. I was used to communicating with words. Now, deciphering the code of the newborn is a lingo I have to relearn, if I even remember it from my last child five years ago. Babies cry. And cry. And cry. On good days, they cry when they need: a. a diaper change b. food c. are tired d. need to burp. There is logic to it.

On other days, it's because there's some underlying issue (e.g. digestive/colic) that, try as you might, you just cannot do anything about, with or without gas drops, complicated holding techniques, or constant swaying in the carseat. And then there are the times you have no clue and want to join along in the crying in frustration.

In other words, adding a newborn means true sacrifice, even with a helpful husband and older kids. There are days when it's easy to embrace the role. Other days where you just want to jump in the car and drive off, at least for 20 minutes, to just savor being alone again, no crying, no carseat, just you and your much battered state of mind.

And then there are the days you want to sit wrapped up in a blanket with your newborn and stare and babble and make all those funny noises that are supposed to build your baby's brain, talking and communicating with him or her. If this was your first child, you probably would be doing that. But since it is your fourth, you try to squeeze in some quick bonding before rushing off to help child #1, 2, or 3 with homework, or some other intellectually stimulating activity. And that of course stimulates your mommy guilt at supposedly neglecting this latest addition.

So now that I've vented, I ask God to please help me through these difficult days (and nights!) and am ready to offer a couple of tips:

1. Pacifiers can be a necessary evil. Get your kid used to one early.

As long as you can limit usage to times when you are truly going nuts with the crying, your kid should ideally not have nipple confusion (if you are breastfeeding him or her). This is also useful in public spaces, where other people have little tolerance for crying infants.

2. If you have a normal delivery, don't do anything for two weeks, at least

Day 5 after delivery, I wanted to resume my normal schedule, and proceeded to drive my kindergartner to her school, which is almost half an hour away. Big mistake. I was in major pain for days. The first six weeks after delivery are a time of rest if you don't want to end up with potential lifelong health problems. Your body is recovering. If you can enlist the help of family and friends to drive your kids to school, do it before your delivery. You will truly be glad you did.

3. Freeze two months worth of meals

Something I deeply regret. I wish I had frozen more meals. It is a pain to deal with cooking when you are recovering and dealing with a newborn who has to nurse right when the other kids are hungry as well. And I say this despite the fact that my husband took over the bulk of cooking duty during the first two weeks, and I had other family members send food.

If you do have to cook, rice and stir-fry are the way. If your kids are older (e.g. 10 and up) and can safely use the stove, enlist their help as well.

4. Skip the dishes if you can

If you have older children who know how to do dishes properly or can load a dishwasher, you can and should skip this option. But if you don't, avoid using dishes, glasses, plates, and utensils for meals and go disposable. You simply will not have the energy to deal with a messy, smelly kitchen, and dishes are the number one cause of that (after the garbage can).

5. Arrange for housecleaning

If you are given enough cash as a gift, consider hiring a maid for at least one week to give your home a good scrub down. You are going to be tired, and will have way too much to do to be deep cleaning your house.

If you cannot afford it, and your family does not already do this, call a family meeting and explain that with a new baby, everybody, daddy and all children, have to pull more of the weight around the house. That means doing laundry, cooking, general upkeep, etc. This article offers some age-appropriate ideas.

6. Take breaks away from the baby with the other kids

Lest they feel neglected, after you've fed the baby, and s/he has been burped, changed, and is ready for a nap, take your remaining kids and do something fun with them. It could be sitting and playing a board game, baking cookies, or volunteering for a good cause over a short spurt of time. Have daddy watch baby for you.

7. Plan some things to do while feeding the baby

You may want to lock eyes and hold your baby's finger while s/he is feeding, but other times, you will be bored out of your mind. Check out from the library or invest in a book you've been wanting to read, a DVD you've wanted to watch, or something else that you can do with no or one hand during this time. It will make you feel less stressed.

8. Pray, pray, and pray again

I can't emphasize this enough. It's the only thing that will help you get through those nights you are getting what seems like barely 15 minutes of sleep. Just make a deep Dua from the bottom of your heart. And keep in mind that insha Allah, yes this will pass very soon.

Tips on Talking to Your Kids about 9/11 this week

2011-09-04T09:17:00.001-07:00

Depending on your children's ages, whether they go to Muslim or non-Muslim school, and how sensitive they are, you've no doubt had to wrestle with the issue of how to talk about the 9/11 attacks with them at some point.

How do you explain, as a Muslim parent who wants to instill a strong sense of faith and pride in Islam, the ugliness of 9/11, and the false "Islamic" basis for it? I've been thinking about this quite a bit this year, especially considering it's the 10th anniversary of the attacks. Here are some things I plan to do with my kids insha Allah.

1. Turn off or limit television viewing and radio listening these next few days

This is not to hide reality or run away from it. Rather, it's about content quality and content control. You and I cannot control what some Islamophobic or not-so-Islamophobic commentator, anchor, radio host or guest will say about the attacks, Islam, and Muslims as memorials are covered in the next few days.

While the better ones will no doubt avoid the kind of bias and one-sided coverage that does and has led to hate-mongering and division, let us not rely on program directors' and staffs' goodwill to give our kids a balanced perspective.

2. Set aside time to discuss the issue at length in an age-appropriate manner

If your kids have already been exposed to the topic of 9/11 through classroom materials, textbooks, events, or other methods at school, make sure you get a rundown from them of how it was discussed. Then fill in the blanks.

In other words, while the teacher may have done a good job of avoiding demonizing Islam and Muslims, reiterate that this act was absolutely against Islamic teachings, which emphasize the sanctity of life (Quran 5:32).

Also important to include in the discussion are the countless statements from around the world by Muslim scholars, institutions, and organizations, that immediately condemned the attacks. A number of these also offer good Islamic arguments against terrorism and violence committed in Islam's name.

If your kids are older, you can discuss the issue in more detail, depending on how much information they want. But definitely talk about Islam's clear condemnation of the attack and Muslims' statements about it.

3.Be careful about what kinds of books your kids read

A few days ago, I checked out a book from the library about 9/11 for my kids, with the intention of reading parts that were relevant to them. A friend suggested I first check the index and read the pages devoted to "Islam", "Muslims", and "Mohammed" or "Muhammad". It turned out to be a smart idea.

Sure enough, there was not one mention of Islam and Muslims' condemnation of the attacks when I searched for the term "Islam". Rather, I got this: "Al Qaeda was founded by a wealthy Islamic man, a native of Saudi Arabia named Osama bin Laden. (Islam is one of the world's great religions, with more than one billion believers worldwide. Followers of Islam are called Muslims. Extreme Muslims, like bin Laden and his followers, make up a a small part of the world's Muslims community)."

In a kids' book about other terrorist attacks (e.g. bombing of abortion clinics, settler violence against Palestinians, destruction of Babri Masjid in India), I doubt the last line would be used to describe extremist elements within Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism or any other faith.

4. Watch what websites you choose

Make sure to vet even the major news sites for balanced information on 9/11. When you check your email or Facebook today, spend a couple of minutes to look up "how to talk to kids about 9/11". Pick four or five sites you feel have done a good job and encourage your kids to read them as a run up to your discussion about the attacks.

5. Attend memorial events

If your kids are old enough, attend 9/11 memorial events in your locality. In particular, look for those that have an Imam as one of the speakers. If that is not possible, contact organizers for an event and ask that you be the speaker or suggest a couple of good ones representing the Muslim community.

This will allow your kids to not only get the Muslim perspective, but to also understand that this was a shared national tragedy, something that affected all Americans, including Muslims.

6. Participate in the 9/11 Day of Service

This has become an annual tradition. Choose a service project to participate in on September 11 and write about it on the Day of Service's website. If you can choose something with an Islamic flavor (e.g. passing out or collecting food for the hungry at your local mosque) that would be ideal. It would offer your children a sense of connection to the Muslim community while setting a good example in the face of all of the negativity toward Islam and Muslims that often surfaces during difficult times.

7. Talk about the Muslim heroes of 9/11

For all the talk of Osama bin Laden which will dominate coverage of this year's anniversary, make sure you highlight the Muslim heroes of 9/11: those who chose to save lives, not take them. One such individual is Muhammad Salman Hamdani. Others are mentioned in President Obama's speech at the White House Iftar this year.

When discussing these Muslims, talk about how their actions reflected what Islam teaches (saving lives as discussed in Quran 5:32) versus those of the 9/11 killers who claimed to be acting on behalf of Islam.

8. Make Dua together

Dua is a powerful tool to connect us to our Creator. At the end of your discussion, sit together with your kids and pray for the victims of 9/11, all of them. Ask Allah to have mercy on all of those who have lost their loved ones; ask for God to have mercy on those who are suffering from the fallout of the attacks because of war; ask Allah to heal our hearts and to open them to our neighbors and vice-versa. Finally, ask Allah to make us what the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was: an agent of good in the world based on the beautiful teachings of Islam.

Ramadan issue: should you let your kids fast?

2011-08-08T20:28:00.001-07:00

It's a question many Muslim parents grapple with every Ramadan, as they struggle to fast themselves. Kids, especially younger ones who are still in the phase of wanting to copy their number one role models, want to fast. This despite the lengthening days (which are due to continue for at least four or five more Ramadans) and the heat of summer.

I've seen Muslim parents sway in both directions, and then some in between. The best approach I've seen is letting younger kids (under 10) fast part of the day, especially long ones like we're experiencing this year. Parents let them (or should I say insist on, since so many children want to roll full steam ahead) break for water and a small snack, then allow them to resume until the fast breaking at sunset. Most kids need just one or two breaks in addition to this.

The other alternative is encouraging kids to eat their breakfast at the regular time instead of waking up to eat Suhoor, the pre-dawn meal. With this approach, children have a full meal, drink a large amount of milk or water, then begin fasting from that point. This is probably more doable for the older kids.

From an Islamic perspective, fasting is not a requirement until a Muslim reaches puberty, the time when an individual is considered accountable before God. But in most cases I've seen, kids nevertheless want to start early, even becoming rude or rebellious at times (I know one seven-year-old this year who sneakily fasted all day behind his parents back). Peer pressure has a lot to do with it. Young kids who fast the whole day rub off on others. Or perhaps it's the challenge and the confidence boost a full day of fasting offers. Then again, maybe it's the age-old desire to be all grown up.

Regardless of the reasons, every child and every parent are unique and strength, stamina, as well as health issues all play a role in any decision taken. But parents should be on guard and watch their kids carefully, especially given the heat and exhaustion normal to summer. A child fasting quietly could be putting him or herself and danger, which is a violation of the very Islamic teachings that neither insist on children fasting, nor encourage the sick and weak to fast.

May we all have a fruitful Ramadan and may our children benefit from this blessed month in the best way, strengthening their own belief while maintaining the balance and moderation that are key to the Islamic way of life.

Rediscovering the Classics this Summer

2011-06-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

Well, summer reading programs are already underway in libraries across the nation, an annual tradition and a great way to keep kids from suffering summer learning loss. But while some libraries specify certain books and others simply reward kids for hours of reading, parents should, if they already don't, pick those old-fashioned classics over more recent fare for their children's summer reading list.

While there are no doubt good books out there published in the last three or four decades, most don't hold a candle to those like Charlotte's Web by E.B. White. And while PBSKids.org, video games, and movies are no doubt enticing, the benefits or reading classical literature can't be underestimated.

The quality of the language is one, in my view. My kids are currently into the revamped Nancy Drew series, which is written the way many kids talk. That's fine, but it doesn't expose them to a higher level of vocabulary, or for the most part, new ideas and out-of-the box thinking.

Contrast this with books like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (another classic), which not only features creative and novel ideas (e.g. Oompa Loompas), but stirs the imagination and offers rich descriptions of the world being painted. Here's an example from the above-mentioned Roald Dahl book: "Graceful trees and bushes were growing along the riverbanks-weeping willows and alders and tall clumps of rhododendrons with their pink and red and mauve blossoms. In the meadows there were thousands of buttercups." And that's not just descriptive writing, but a science lesson on plants should you choose to make it one.

And lest you fear your techno-savvy kids could never enjoy older books, remember that the reason classics are classics is less because of the specific time and context of the story and more because they powerfully evoke timeless themes and emotions. That means even a Wii-addicted seven-year-old will cry when reading about Charlotte dying, and a Netflix-happy nine-year-old can wonder at Willy Wonka's incredible chocolate factory.

From a social perspective, classics for younger kids also have less of the stuff many of us parents worry about when looking for good books for our children. That includes themes focused heavily on dating and boy/girl relationships, as well as cleaner language.

So, pull up your library's online search catalog and make those requests today. Here are a couple of classics I'll be getting for my kids insha Allah:

1. Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
2. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
3. Mr. Popper's Penguins by Florence and Richard Atwater
4. The Wind in the willows by Kenneth Grahame
5. The Tale of Two Bad Mice by Beatrice Potter
6. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank Baum
7. The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf
8. Homer Price by Robert McCloskey
9. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
10.The Wheel on the School by Meindert DeJong

I'd appreciate any additional suggestions on classical books for kids.

Teaching Kids About Death...

2011-03-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

is never easy. But this is where real-life experiences become those teachable moments.

This became most clear to me last month, when the older brother of one my preschooler's classmates died - at the age of 15, of cancer.

The news was stunning because this young man had only been diagnosed three weeks earlier. For my kids, it was surprising because he was so young. They, like many of us, assumed that death is primarily for the old - not for an athletic teenager who loved his mom's beef sandwiches.

Something pushed me to take two of my kids to the funeral, and later, to visit his family to offer our condolences. My eldest, age 8, had never before offered a funeral prayer. But I insisted she stand in line and pay attention to the Imam's explanation of it.

My four-year-old was somewhat clueless, and didn't see her classmate, the sister of the deceased at the funeral. However, she still asks "is she sad because her brother died?"

But it is only by giving our kids that hands-on knowledge of our way of life that we can truly teach them what being part of a community is about, and what the rites and rituals of our faith are all about. It's something I see so many young people lacking, and it scares me. When we exclude our kids from these life cycle events, be it weddings (you know those "Mr. and Mrs. Only" invitations) or funerals, we are neglecting our duty of Tarbiyya or teaching them.

We worry about test scores and we worry about admission into the coveted Ivy League. That's fine. But our worry should also be: will they continue to live their faith - the connection to God, the rituals so easily dismissed because of our "busy" lives, the sense of community reinforced by these rituals which are part of the cycle of life and death.

Death is a tragedy, but it is also a teachable moment. Let's remember that and involve our kids early on in knowing about it and preparing for it. We can do this by insisting they participate in its rituals and expecting them to rise to the challenge of handling it with faith and maturity.

Sleeping Bear Press Alphabet Series: excellent for early and advanced readers

2010-11-26T16:16:00.001-08:00

Over the last few months, I have discovered the Sleeping Bear Press' Alphabet series, which is nothing short of excellent.

Covering a wide range of subjects, from "A is for America: An American Alphabet" to "P is for Pilgrim: A Thanksgiving Alphabet" (which I read to my kids yesterday), the books take a topic and present themes relating to it in alphabetical order. These are accompanied by simple, lyrical text, aimed at younger readers, accompanied by more detailed information for advanced readers (and parents!) on each page's sidebar.

The illustrations are of high quality and easily retain young reader interest. I do hope they will consider producing books focused on Islam and other faiths as part of this series in the future, on the lines of their book "A is for Abraham: A Jewish Family Alphabet".

Fall 2010 books and ideas

2010-10-27T14:46:00.001-07:00

With Halloween hoopla in full swing, it's still important to talk about the beautiful fall season and read about it, minus the spooky themes and other paraphernalia.

I've written about Halloween-free fall ideas before (you can see last year's post about this). But here are some new books I came across this year:

BOOKS

1. Why do Leaves Change Color? by Betsy Maestro (ages 7 to 10). Part of the Let's-Read-And-Find-Out Science series.

2. Peepers by Eve Bunting. A different take on the fall season. It's a story about "Peepers", people who come to New England to see the fall colors, and how two young boys discover the beauty of this time of year, even as they mock the tourists.

3. By the Light of the Harvest Moon by Harriet Ziefert. A cute story about pumpkins that come to life to celebrate the harvest.

4. Pumpkins by Mary Lyn Ray. A very nice story about how a man plots a unique way to preserve a field threatened with development by using pumpkins.

5. We all Fall for Apples by Emmi S. Herman A good selection for early readers with apples as the fall theme.

ACTIVITY

Using the book How Many Seeds in a Pumpkin by Margaret McNamara as a guide, my husband had the kids guess how many seeds would be in the pumpkin we picked up from a fall fair earlier this month. A topical math lesson.

This can also be turned into a biology/science unit, by studying the parts of the pumpkin, opening up its seeds, etc.

ISLAMIC POINT

One thing that did not occur to me last year as a discussion point was the beauty of the cycle of life. In specific, the fact that Allah chooses the season right before the cold winter to make countless fruits and vegetables ready for picking. This makes it easy for animals who stay north in the winter to survive through hibernation, since they are able to collect all the seeds, nuts, berries, etc. they need.

The challenge of kids reading "controversial" literature

2010-10-01T04:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I took out the book Hoot by Carl Hiaasen for my eight-year-old from the library. She loves to read and I had heard that this was a nice story about three middle school kids trying to save a group of owls from being killed off by a construction project. I saw it as a good example of environmental heroism for youth.

While this is the main plot of the story, I'm glad I looked at the book before handing it over to my daughter. Although it is a Rebecca Caudill award-winner, the tale is replete with the depiction of what goes on in most middle schools today: vulgar language (e.g. kiss my...); behavior (the main character mooning his nemesis); violent bullying, and of course, disrespect for authority figures like parents, principals, and police officers, who are, for the most part, portrayed as clueless, brainless twits a la Homer Simpson.

As someone who went through middle school herself, I know that the kind of language depicted is frankly, tame (there are no "f", "b", "s", or other major swear words). From what I read, there was no overt sexuality either. But the question is, should I expose my kids to "typical" middle school behavior at age eight?

My daughter doesn't know what mooning is, and frankly, I'd rather keep it that way. While it's funny to read about (yes, I laughed when I came across it in the book), it's really not necessary for a third-grader to know about it. That is, unless someone does that to her or she hears about it through said book or other media.

It's always a struggle as a parent to decide what topics to discuss, what to avoid, and at what age with kids. There are some things best left unsaid when your child is age eight that become necessary to bring up two years later. There are others that perhaps should never be raised unless your son or daughter is exposed to them through literature, media or the experience of a friend.

One thing I always appreciated about my mother was her willingness to discuss issues pertaining to sex in a straightforward, open manner, especially if I specifically asked questions about them. She didn't flinch but simply gave me the Islamic perspective on topics like dating, menstruation, and a host of other subjects that most of my friends' moms would express shock at hearing about from their children.

I want to pass this same legacy of openness and "non-freaking-outness" to my kids. But it's hard. I don't know how I would handle the issue of adultery when my kids read The Scarlet Letter. While reading classic literature is critical to a solid education, the values and mores they depict or approve of need to be guided by someone who can present the Islamic view on sex outside of marriage, for example, effectively.

This is an interesting article I read about the topic from a Muslim perspective:http://www.soundvision.com/info/muslimteacher/controversialliterature.asp

What do you think?

Adventures in Camping - Part II

2010-06-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

To make a long story short, there was a huge thunderstorm our second night camping, which for the offspring and I, was terrifying. The constant rain (I counted at least five hours worth) battered our tent, but Alhamdu lillah, it didn't fall over. We did, however, find small pools of water in the corners of our tent. You truly get what you pay for.

So, here are a couple of tips on camping with kids, if you plan to do that this summer:

1. Pack a sweater, a jacket and at least 1 warm blanket per person.
2. Keep your shoes inside the tent, even if you choose not to walk with them inside. We made the mistake of leaving them out on night #2, and woke up to discover they were drenched. Which is why it's important to..
3. pack an extra pair of shoes or flip flops. Closed shoes are better. Mosquitoes generally eat you alive so....
4. pack insect repellant
5. Pack a large water bottle for "lota" use. The small ones just don't cut it.
6. Before you go to sleep, pack any and all food into your car. Raccoons are in practically every park (as they were in ours) and in other places, bears will enjoy a feast on your leftovers as you lay terrified in your tent, praying they don't come near you.
7. Don't forget the first aid kit.
8. Hand sanitizer is a must.
9. Keep many large sized garbage bags. At our campsite, there were specific places we had to dump garbage so animals wouldn't get to it. These were not walking distance, so we collected our garbage, kept it in the car and dumped it when we drove by.
10. While it's important to plan a structured schedule for the trip, allow for at least some flexibility. Kids might be too tired to do more than one hike during a day, for instance, or an area you were planning to see may be closed due to inclement weather.

ISLAMIC COMPONENTS
1. Talk about the diversity of Allah's Creation, as expressed through the fauna and flora around you.
2. If you are going to be there on Friday and you have enough people, hold your own Juma prayers. We did and were treated to a great Khutba about the importance of being grateful to God, especially considering we were experiencing significant discomfort through our camping experience (no internet!).
3. If you hold a bonfire, one person should talk about a serious topic, but remember to make it age-appropriate and non-scary. The temptation to tell Jinn stories was great, but we resisted, knowing it would freak the kids out in the complete darkness and isolation.
4. Roast those Halal marshmallows. Most of us have grown up hearing about this staple camping experience. Now is your change to indulge.
5. Pray together outside. If that is too risky (yes, someone who only connects praying Muslims with dangerous stuff could cause you a problem), designate one tent as the prayer tent.

Camping is definitely one of those experiences you need to go through at least once in a lifetime, especially if you're an urbanite or suburbanite. It teaches not only basic survival skills, but brings you closer to God, in a place where the hum of the hummingbird replaces the one from your cell, and the flash of the lightning substitutes for the glow of a television screen.

Adventures in camping-part 1

2010-06-16T13:16:00.000-07:00

I never thought we'd do it, but there we were, on an unusually chilly June day, setting up a tent in the middle of an out of the way forest preserve. How we were going to survive the next 48 hours minus cellphone access, a bathroom that was a five-minute walk away and three kids under the age of 9 was a terrifying thought to the urban mom in me.

Thankfully, we weren't the only family there. Three other brave clans joined us, and among all of us, only two people who don't yet have kids, had camped out before.

Day one passed quite well, as we pitched our $89 tent from Target, practiced making it to the bathroom in time (which was very clean, with electricity and warm water to boot!) and tried to enjoy the tech-free entertainment of green foliage, a pinkish sunset and in the evening, stories and jokes over a bonfire as we slapped mosquitoes away from our hands and faces. Roasted Halal marshmallows added to the excitement.

Nighttime though. was another story. While we had jackets, blankets and one queen-sized air mattress, this was hardly enough to stave off the frigid air. In practical terms, this meant one of my kids woke up shivering and needing to pee at 2 a.m. Getting to the bathroom at our campsite meant a five-minute walk in complete darkness, and she was in no shape to do that. So I did what human beings have and continue to do the world over: I made her fertilize a nearby tree. Alhamdu lillah, since we kept a used, filled up water bottle as our official "lota" (Istinja) in our tent, I was able to clean her up and have her back in bed in less than five minutes.

The following day was once again cool, but bright and sunny. The highlight was a long hike to a secluded beach that was part of the park. None of us swam, since it was still cold, but the kids enjoyed walking in the water, throwing rocks into it and drying off on the warm, silky sand. Our visit to this idyllic location however, was cut short by a spectacular seagull attack. The birds swooped over us at the first sight of chips in the hands of two of our friends.

I was already feeling a little nervous about spending the night again at the campsite when I spotted a patch of dark clouds heading towards us. But they passed, and we enjoyed a dinner of barbecued chicken and beef (for some reason, it seems we were on an Atkins-like diet throughout the trip).

Another nighttime bonfire was cut short by exhaustion and we all went back to our tents to what we hoped was some rest after another 12 hours in the natural world. Little did we know.

Review: The Great American Staycation by Matt Wixon

2010-05-13T16:17:00.000-07:00

I'm only halfway through this wonderful resource, but I wanted to write something anyway, since summer vacation is fast sneaking up on parents like me, who are still scrambling to plan fun in the free days ahead.

A fantastic vacation is as much a part of the American Dream as a house with a white picket fence is. But the recession of the last two years has forced many families to rethink this ideal, even as they pine for a much-needed getaway.

Enter the "staycation", a vacation that is surprisingly fun, but does not necessarily involve a plane ride to sandy beaches with aqua blue H20. The whole idea behind this concept is to enjoy the benefits of a getaway in an affordable, but still entertaining fashion.

Wixon grew up with parents who wheeled and dealed to offer their kids unique vacation experiences during the early 1980s, when another recession was in progress. While some of these trips involved listening to hours-long sales pitches, they nonetheless allowed his family to see new places and have their own unique adventures.

Parents today, he argues, can do the same, albeit with more style and savvy.

He outlines the eight rules of a staycation from the start, two of which I found particularly important: 1. Don't trash the family budget to have fun but don't deprive yourself either. 2. Treat your staycation as an actual vacation, a getaway from the mundane matters of daily life. In other words, don't use the time to squeeze in fun while you remodel the kitchen.

The rest of the book offers unique ideas that allow parents to make their kids' getaways special and memorable, even when air travel isn't an option. These include visits to weird museums (like the one in honor of roaches in Texas), factory tours of places like Eli's Cheesecake, and unique theme parks.

Let The Great American Staycation be your resource guide to summer fun this year. Your family and your wallet are likely to thank you for it.

Book Review: Sugar Comes From Arabic: A Beginner's Guide to Arabic Letters and Words by Barbara Whitesides

2010-05-07T09:45:00.000-07:00

I've always felt the best way to learn Arabic was from someone who him or herself has learned it as a non-native speaker. This book confirms that idea.

Although I have not read this book cover to cover, I have read the introduction and the beginning. It is no less than excellent, and if you're a person or parent struggling to teach yourself or your child how to read and write Arabic, this is a very well-explained guide. I was impressed with the way Whitesides compared writing Arabic to text-messaging in English, since text messaging uses the basic letters of a word to convey a message, similar to how Arabic has root words with no vowels.

Added to this is a sprinkling of information throughout the book about how various words and ideas came from Arabic or the Middle East. For example, in the section on letter "ba", Whitesides explains how the English word "borax" comes from its Arabic equivalent "buraq", along with a photo of the item. In the section on letter "sheen", I discovered that the English word "checkmate" comes from the Arabic "shaykh maat" which means "the king (shaykh) is dead (maat)".

If you're looking to shore up Arabic writing skills in a way that will be fun and interesting, this book is an educational and entertaining way to do it.

Earth day: talking points, suggested sites and books

2010-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

With Earth Day due in two days, your kids are no doubt bringing in from school the artwork, requests for materials to do projects on recycling, as well as discussing how to care for the earth in class.

This is an ideal time to bring up the Islamic perspective, however briefly. You can do this really easily in about 10 minutes in the car on the way to or from school, right before bed during storytime, or even during bathtime.

Here are a couple of talking points to "green" your conversation:

1. Allah has made us His Khalifa (vicegerents or representatives) on earth and one of our duties here is to take care of it.

2. Taking care of it means different things. Ask them what they think it does. Then suggest a couple of ideas like not littering, using less water, treating animals and plants with care, not wasting anything, whether that is water, electricity, food or anything else.

3. Waste is something Allah dislikes. As Muslims, we want to avoid anything that does not please Him, since it takes us far away from Allah, Who loves us and cares for us (Quran 7:31).

4. Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty. Part of that beauty is the natural world He has created, so we need to preserve it.

5. Muslims are involved in different projects around the world, big and small, to preserve the planet. These range from building the world's first carbon-free city (scroll down to the second story) and installing solar-powered panels in mosques to doing what many are already doing like reusing bags, picking up litter, etc.

There are even Muslims starting companies to sell items like green cards and meat.

It's important to mention this because it shows practical ways Muslims are living this aspect of Islam.

More talking points at:

1. Islam and the environment
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1119503544990&pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar%2FFatwaE%2FFatwaEAskTheScholar

2. Muslim Green Team (interesting projects you may want to start with your kids and in your community)
http://muslimgreenteam.org/

Books:

1. Non-Fiction:

a. The Environmental Footprints series is very good. I took a look at the one entitled How Big Is Your Water Footprint? by Paul Mason. With nice photos and clearly written text, it's a great way to discuss reducing carbon footprints for first- to fifth- graders.

The other books in the series discuss clothing, energy, food, shopping and travel footprints. They are all by Paul Mason.

b. We also read What Can We Do About Trash and Recycling? by Lorijo Metz. Another nice one geared towards early elementary school students.

2. Fiction: Bag in the Wind by Ted Kooser. This is a beautifully written story about how a plastic bag travels from a landfill to a little girl and back to her through various people and places. It shows how many ways an item can be recycled instead of being thrown out.

More book suggestions at:

1. http://www.apples4theteacher.com/holidays/earth-day/kids-books/
2. http://holidays.kaboose.com/earthday-learn.html

Activities

There are plenty of good ideas online, so I won't get into the arts and crafts aspect. But it may be helpful to:

1. Visit the nature center closest to you.
2. Visit the Peggy Noteabart Nature Museum (free on Thursdays).
3. Find a "green" service project in your area and participate. This could be a park cleanup, for example.
4. Make a special Dua for the planet as a family.
5. Hold a family meeting/Halaqah about one aspect of this topic.
6. Pick a green project to do as a family (e.g. start recycling newspapers, composting, etc.).

Maple Sugaring and Baby Animals: Ideal spring activities

2010-03-31T15:55:00.000-07:00

With spring springing here (at least for now, April can offer us some nasty surprises), it's a good time to indulge in a couple of seasonal, hands-on activities.

I took my kids maple sugaring a couple of weeks ago out at Deep River County Park in Indiana. It was a rainy, rainy, cold, dark day. Driving through the deluge was leading to second thoughts, but ultimately, it was worth the experience, as the children emphasized.

Starting from watching the sap being collected in buckets attached to the trees, we observed the process of how maple syrup is made. From the buckets, we moved to a large pot over an open bonfire that was cooking the sap to thicken it. Our clothes smelled like barbecue, but it was a nice way to warm up while outside.

Then we walked over, still in pouring rain, to the place where we got to taste the finished product. Very nice. At the gift shop, we bought a bottle of the sweet stuff, in a lovely glass bottle shaped like a maple leaf.

We also watched the short film "Maple Syrup Farmer", which, although filmed in the 1970s, was entertaining and educational. As the said farmer showed the process of how maple syrup and sugar are made, he recounted his life as a boy growing up at the turn of the century. His tales of frogs and mice in the one-room schoolhouse he attended to how some would play music in exchange for food offered an interesting historical aspect to the whole experience.

Islamic component: This is an example of the amazing ways Allah blesses humanity with all kinds of food and drink. Not only do we get fruits and nuts from trees, but maple syrup is another kind of sustenance we receive from maple trees. This is an example of God's Creative Power and His ability to meet not just our very basic needs, but also, provide for our desire for variety in taste.

Next stop insha Allah: the animal farm to see newborn fauna. Review to follow.

Book Review: Journey Through Islamic Art by Na'ima bint Robert and Diana Mayo

2010-03-05T12:38:00.000-08:00

This is a lovely introduction to Islamic Art appreciation for children ages seven and up. It's beautifully illustrated and the text is lyrical, poetic and brief. It gives enough information to whet a reader's appetite in anticipation of learning more about the arabesques, mosaics, domes and other motifs that characterize art from the Muslim world throughout history. It also weaves some history into the text with each page, whether that is in talking about Baghdad, Samarkand or Spain.

This is an excellent way to begin familiarizing your child with Islamic artistic heritage, something they won't get in school...unless of course you homeschool.

Black History Month: focusing on Malcolm X

2010-02-09T06:06:00.000-08:00

Many schools will be discussing Black History Month over the next few weeks, and if your kids go to any school (versus being homeschooled), social studies classes and library book displays will no doubt be focused on this.

Although Black History Month is primarily about African-American history, Muslim parents can still use this opportunity to discuss themes relating to Africa including the following:

-Africa in Islamic history (see this article)
- A focus on African countries with a Muslim history and/or a Muslim majority like Nigeria, Mali, Senegal, Chad, etc
-Great African Muslims, starting from Umm Ayman and Bilal ibn Rabah to Mansa Musa and Malcolm X, among others
- A discussion of racism is a must. Frankly, while things are getting better, there is still plenty of racism in the Muslim community and it has to stop. It is absolutely contrary to Islam and no good Muslim can justify this despicable behavior.
- Discuss ayah 49:13. Find a good Tafseer of this.

Malcolm X

Last month, Martin Luther King Jr. was the focus, as his birthday is celebrated or commemorated as a tribute to his hard work and sacrifices for civil rights.

Malcolm X, on the other hand, rarely receives much recognition. As the most prominent Muslim of the civil rights movement, focus on him this month. Read books, watch a documentary (I would avoid Spike Lee's movie, since there are scenes in there not fit for viewing), and listen to a couple of his speeches online at YouTube.

Emphasize to your kids the following about this great African-American Muslim:

1. Malcolm X faced tremendous hardship and challenges in life. Before he was 10 years old, he lost his parents (his father was assumed to be killed, his mother was sent to an insane asylum), experienced painful racism and witnessed his being house burned down by racists.

2. These hardships though, made him a stronger person. Although he did get in trouble with the law and was subsequently sent to jail, he changed for the better there.

3. After he joined the group the Nation of Islam while in prison, he stopped doing many of the bad things he was involved in before entering prison.

4. The Nation of Islam is NOT Islam. It is a cult (define this word). Although some of the things it teaches are from Islam (e.g. no pork, alcohol, drugs, sex outside of marriage), it has many ideas in it which contradict our faith. The biggest among these is their belief that God came down in the form of a man named Fard Muhammad and named Elijah Muhammad his prophet. The Nation of Islam's view that white man is the devil is also absolutely contrary to our belief as Muslims.

5. The Nation of Islam offered Malcolm X and other African-American men at this time a sense of dignity and pride which was denied them by the American government and society of the 1950's and '60s. You can briefly discuss lynchings, unfathomable discrimination, segregation, "colored" sections of buses and water fountains.

6. Malcolm X eventually left the Nation for Islam. Discuss in detail his Hajj and his letter from Mecca, where he shared how Islam and his Hajj experience changed his worldviews about God and the equality of all human beings.

7. Overall lesson: Malcolm X is an example of how a person can embrace God, the Truth, and become a great human being despite a negative personal history. Many of the Companions of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, were like that as well.

Books about Malcolm X:

For younger children:

Malcolm X: A Fire Burning Brightly by Water Dean Myers: nicely illustrated and gives a good introduction to the leader without being overly explicit about his pre-prison crimes.

For teenagers:

Malcom X: By Any Means Necessary by Water Dean Myers: not very well-written but does provide a more detailed description of the man. The last chapter offers a good synopsis of his life and the changes he went through in his short 39 years.

Event tomorrow: IMAX Film "Journey to Mecca: In the Footsteps of Ibn Battuta"

2009-12-18T12:04:00.001-08:00

To give your kids a beautiful taste of Hajj and history, please consider attending tomorrow's screening of the IMAX Film "Journey to Mecca: In the footsteps of Ibn Battuta" at the Museum of Science and Industry, courtesy of the Webb Foundation.

Ibn Battuta has been described as the "Muslim Marco Polo". This exceptional traveler not only made Hajj at a time when first class airline seats and swanky hotel rooms were unfathomable. He traveled beyond there, all the way to China, visiting Iraq, Persia, East Africa, India and Central Asia as well.

I saw the film with my kids back in the summer and it offered not only awesome scenes of the Kaba up close, IMAX style, but a good glimpse of how brave the pilgrims of yesteryear were. Scenes from his miles-long caravan heading to Hajj are awe-inspiring, and the accompanying narrative helps keep the film interesting for those who don't enjoy documentaries.

The only caveat is don't take kids under the age of seven. The music can get somewhat eerie and the scene where Ibn Battuta is attacked by vandals in the night scared my younger two. My husband and I had to cover their eyes.

Details of the screenings tomorrow are here:

For the 7:45 pm showing of the film:
https://www. z2systems. com/np/clients/ webb/event. jsp?event= 27

Forthe 8:45 pm showing of the film:
https://www. z2systems. com/np/clients/ webb/event. jsp?event= 28

And if you want to read up on Ibn Battuta, a nice book I found for my kids was Traveling Man: The Journey of Ibn Battuta, 1325-1354 by James Rumford. It's good for more advanced readers but makes a nice, adventurous bedtime story to read to the kids as well.

Pick up a Hajji at the airport this week

2009-12-05T12:03:00.001-08:00

Even with Hajj season over, don't miss an opportunity this week to convey the excitement of the journey of a lifetime. If possible, pick up a Hajji at the airport with your kids.

Have the children make welcome back signs and if possible, make or buy a gift. It could be flowers, a paper chain necklace or a "Hajj Mubarak" or "Congratulations on your Hajj" card.

The excitement of going to the airport is just one aspect of the experience. Welcoming back a Hajji will show that this is not just another trip abroad, but something that, ideally, changes a Muslim's life for the better. That's why we should celebrate it.

And if possible, host a post-Hajj party. Make sure you have the guest of honor share his/her experiences with other guests, preferably in a kid-friendly fashion.

Some nice Halloween-free fall books and resources

2009-10-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

Sharing the beauty and wonder of fall, for a number of Muslim parents, is made difficult by the ubiquitous presence of Halloween. Whether it's in books and videos that are aimed at discussing just the fall season, to visits to the pumpkin patch to a walk to enjoy fall foliage, it's difficult to avoid this tradition that has become a staple of our culture.

Now I know that some Muslims see nothing wrong with trick-or-treating, costumes and Halloween parties. From their perspective, it's a harmless celebration. My parents always felt otherwise and did not allow me to go trick-or-treating, for instance. I feel the same way as a parent today. So I explain to my kids that while many people do celebrate Halloween, and that is part of their culture and their choice, we as Muslims celebrate Eid with many of the things Halloween includes: gifts of candy and parties.

It's no doubt a challenge, but my take on Halloween, Christmas and other celebrations is to pump up the Eid excitement for my kids so they understand that while we respect other people's faith and traditions, we also have our own which we celebrate in similar ways.

This is why, when it comes to talking about fall, I try to find resources that are Halloween-free. Here are a couple I've come across (aimed at the age seven and under crowd):

BOOKS

1. How Many Seeds in a Pumpkin by by Margaret McNamara and G. Brian Karas
2. Autumn Across America by Seymour Simon. This one is for more advanced readers or if you are the one reading, kids with longer attention spans. But very nice photos from across the country.
3. Possum's Harvest Moon by Anne Hunter. A cute one about a possum who throws a party on the occasion of the Harvest Moon.
4. The Apple Doll by Elisa Kleven. Lizzy is lonely in the first days after she starts school. To cure her loneliness, she makes an apple doll, Susanna, who ends up teaching her more than she expected about making friends and relating to others.
5. Hurry and the Monarch by Antoine O Flatharta. Hurry the tortoise learns about the yearly fall migration of Monarch butterflies to the south.
6. Pumpkin Town! by Katie McKy. A humorous look at what happens when a family of brothers carelessly scatters pumpkin seeds on the town below in the spring and realizes why it looks so orange and green in the fall.
7. Fall by Ron Hirschi. A clear, concise explanation of the changes the fall season brings to the natural world with nice photos and easy to read text.
8. An Apple for Harriet Tubman by Glennette Tilley Turner. A good way to discuss a heroic African-American into the fall season.
9. Fletcher and the Falling Leaves by Julia Rawlinson. Fletcher the Fox is sad as he watches his favorite tree lose its leaves, trying various ways to stick them back on.

10. Muslim-themed fall book alert: One Green Apple by Eve Bunting. Farah is a Muslim girl from an unspecified Muslim country. On an apple-picking trip she struggles to relate to her peers and classmates while trying to find the right words to express herself. An interesting way to bring a Muslim perspective to fall.

FUN FALL ACTIVITIES
1. Apple bobbing (but don't do this if any of the kids are sick. They can spread the virus to others by putting their mouths repeatedly in the water).
2. Making apple and pumpkin pie or other food from these fruits.
3. Fall drive to see the foliage. Check out foliagenetwork.com to see a show near you.
4. Visit a nature center with animals and ask the experts about how the animals prepare for hibernation in the fall.
5. Apple/pumpkin picking
6. Leaf crafts
http://www.dltk-holidays.com/fall/crafts.html
http://crafts.kaboose.com/holidays/seasons/fall/index.html (skip the Halloween stuff :))
http://www.crayola.com/free-coloring-pages/search.cfm?txt_search=fall (again, you can skip the Halloween stuff)
7. Study the different fruits and vegetables available during the season and/or cook a "fall" meal with the season's harvest.
8. Look out for the harvest moon (next year. this year it was on October 4, an amazing sight).

An idea to teach your kids Ramadan charity

2009-09-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

With Ramadan ending in about, oh, 48 to 72 hours, there's still time to pass on to children those important lessons the blessed month emphasizes, particularly charity. Here's something I did with my older two kids (ages 7 and 6).

We heard through a friend involved in helping refugees here in Chicago of an Iraqi family with two children about my own kids' age that is in need. While we wanted to donate to help cover costs like rent and groceries, my husband thought it would be nice to buy Eid gifts for the two children as well.

First, I reviewed the story from the the book "Aisha and Amina's Eid gifts" by Fawzia Gilani-Williams. It's about two elementary school-aged sisters who are making Eid wish lists as they fast in Ramadan. While they happily shop and prepare the gifts, it's only at the end of the story that we discover they are buying the Eid presents for two friends who have been having a hard time (one due to illness, another because of family financial difficulties). The book is very well written, enjoyable and interestingly, shows the character of the girls' mother as a working woman, a rare find in Muslim children's literature in English. In one scene, Dad cooks dinner as mom returns from work a little later in the evening.

After going over the story, I told the girls about the two Iraqi children and we proceeded to make our own wish list. I was impressed with the kinds of suggestions they came up with for gift items. They also wanted to buy more than we had budgeted for, which was great for bringing home the generosity aspect of the exercise.

A couple of days later, we bought the gifts and gift bags together, with the kids helping me pick exactly what kind of car to buy for the little boy and what kind of princess necklace set for the girl, for example. A few other items were added.

My husband took care of the drop off. I would have preferred to have the kids meet the recipients of the gift but it was not possible due to time and logistical constraints.

If you've got time, this is a nice way to end the month of Ramadan with the kids. You don't have to buy the presents for refugee children specifically. As in the story, you can simply reach out to the child or children of a family friend or acquaintance who is going through a rough time right now and brighten their Eid with a small token of Eid excitement and encouragement.

What I summer learned during summer vacation...

2009-09-02T09:38:00.001-07:00

Well, so much for posting weekly. I'm sorry for the two month hiatus. It has been incredibly busy with a visit out of town, summer camp for the kids and trying to squeeze in too many activities in between.

During the mad rush to make summer exciting, memorable and unique (my how we parents put undue pressure on ourselves!), I learned a couple of things:

1. Do NOT put pressure on yourself to make summer special. While parents can and should plan some activities, when the kids complain they're bored, just ask them to figure out what they can do to entertain themselves.

2. Make Dua. It is so important to begin anything asking God for His Help and to make the project or task easy and fruitful. I especially did this for our trip out of town and was amazed at how smoothly everything went, from the drive to our destination, to the kinds of fun we had on our trip.

3. Balance faith and fun. It is critical to incorporate, for example, more reading and understanding of the Quran and basic Islamic precepts while having fun. Also, use fun activities to teach. Squeezing in the Islam during a trip to the zoo, for example, will sear into kids' memories lessons about the faith better than a standard lecture.

4. Avoid malls as much as possible. While the air conditioning on hot days and the play area on rainy days may beckon, the mall often features ideas and values most of us want to avoid passing on to our kids: wasting money and time; questionable ads for movies, businesses or other things featuring scantily clad women in questionable positions (I saw this yesterday, with an ad for some tv show about a vampire. The banners were draped all over the mall); the Victoria Secret store right across from the Disney store in one mall I went to (although the Disney store provided a quick distraction from the other store's huge banner inviting customers in to check out the sexy lingerie the model featured on the photo was wearing).

5. The library is your best friend. I can't say that enough. It's not only educational, but most libraries have not only summer reading programs but also activities that offer fun for the whole family. And it's either free or very affordable. The library is fun, family-friendly and a way to teach your kids love for literature early on. Plus, it's air conditioned. A visit there should be a once-a-week summer activity.

6. Teach your kids swimming. It is not only recommended by the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, but it is excellent exercise and could save their life or help kids save another person's.

Venue Review: Brookfield Zoo & Islamic ideas for zoo trips

2009-06-30T18:00:00.000-07:00

What's the point of going to a zoo? To see animals in the flesh, I had to remind myself, not shell out dollar upon dollar for animal paraphernalia. That's why I was somewhat disappointed with my visit to Brookfield Zoo today.

I wouldn't have gone had I had to pay full price (kids were free today and will be tomorrow as well). But despite this, I shelled out $8.00 for parking, $12.00 for myself and a couple of more hard-earned bucks to see the "Dinosaurs Alive" exhibit.

Since we'd visited Lincoln Park Zoo a few weeks ago, I used the opportunity to compare the two. It's wonderful having so many family attractions in one city and two zoos is definitely something unique to Chicago and only larger cities. So here's what I came up with:

1. Brookfield Zoo is much prettier. The landscaping is beautiful. The fountains are beautiful.

2. Animals look the same in both. The zebra looked a little cleaner at Brookfield but it could have been because of the light rain that fell on and off during our visit.

3. Both zoos feature rip-off food. At Lincoln Park Zoo, my husband shelled out $3.00 for one slushie times three kids. Nine bucks for ice, food coloring and high fructose corn syrup. At Brookfield Zoo, one skinny little Hi-C juice box cost $1.25. Soft drinks were $3.00 a pop.

4. Brookfield Zoo offers many more opportunities to part with your money. While Lincoln had the traditional snack stands here and there, along with one gift shop, Brookfield had countless ones. In fact, the exit of the dinosaur exhibition is IN a dinosaur-themed gift shop. Good grief. I had to race my kids through there as my five-year-old begged "Ummy can we please buy (some useless item)".

5. The kind of animals are more or less the same: elephants, monkeys, apes, zebras, etc.

OTHER NOTES

The Dinosaur exhibit: it was not bad, but not as exciting as I imagined. The real-life-sized dinosaurs growl, screech, wag their tales and glare at you menacingly. The allosaurus even blinks. It's worth checking out if you've got a hard core dinosaur fan in the family. But I would much rather have taken a tour on the trolley, which also offers a chance to sit down and check out the animals in a more relaxed fashion.

TIPS TO MAKE YOUR TRIP MORE ENJOYABLE:

1. Pack your own food (see note above).
2. Go on a cloudy, cool day. It's a lot more comfortable for everyone. My daughters sometimes get headaches if they're out in the sun too long and today's weather was perfect for walking around. I also didn't have to spend as much time dealing with the "why is X person wearing so few clothes" problem because of the cold.
3. Take the trolley tour (see note above).
4. Go early and leave early. Bathrooms are clean. Restaurants are empty and there is less of a crowd in general at exhibits.
5. Carpool with another mom and her kid(s) if you can. It will be better for the planet and you'll only have to pay for one car when it comes to parking fees.
6. Pack your own water bottles. There's a lot of walking involved and the kids will definitely get thirsty, especially on a hot day.
7. Washrooms were decent. Pretty clean, but more people always means more germs.

Islamic lessons/ideas:

1. For the preschool set, a nice book to read before and after a visit to the zoo is Animals by Farah Sardar.
2. Another book you may want to check out (which I haven't read) is Allah's Zoo by Nafees Khan.
3. Discuss the diversity of Allah's creation, how every creature is dependent on Him for its food and shelter and survival in general.
4. Sing the song "Animals love to hear Quran" on the Whisper of Peace collection of songs by Dawud Wharnsby Ali. One nice thing about Brookfield Zoo was that we saw an actual emu, which is mentioned in Ali's song.
5. Look up animals in the Quran and read about them.
6. For older kids, discuss animal rights in Islam.

Venue Review: Aurora's Sci-Tech Museum

2009-06-24T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's probably more than crazy that I drove over one hour yesterday to visit Aurora's Sci-Tech museum in the blazing heat and in the gas-guzzling minivan, no less. But the trip was nonetheless worth it, with a few caveats.

The museum itself is small- to medium-sized, which means you can check out the exhibits in about two hours without having to walk around a huge building like we did the Field Museum back in March. For plenty of kids unaccustomed to the joys of walking (like my own), this makes the trip less than enjoyable when you have to walk far to see everything.

Favorite exhibits at Sci-Tech included the one showing how a hot air balloon works and watching it rise slowly based on how much hot air you pump into it; the bubble wall and bubble enclosure, which allows kids to stand inside a bubble; a replica of a tornado and one exhibit showing how air pressure propels rockets into the sky.

The exhibits are simple but definitely hands-on and the explanations posted on or next to them aren't too text-heavy or difficult to understand.

Since I'm so far from the museum, I threw in a trip to the nearby (15 minutes away) Chicago Premium Outlets Mall, also in Aurora. You'll find some decent bargains for kids' clothes there at Carter's, Gymboree and The Children's Place. There are other stores for adults' clothes, shoes and furnishings as well.

Tips to make your trip to Sci-Tech easier:

1. Bring change for parking. There is metered parking available in the museum's lot.
2. Bring those coupons with you. The museum's website offers coupons for $1 off admission, but Oaklee's Guide offers $2 off admission per person in your party.
3. Don't buy water bottles from their gift store. I made this mistake by not bringing my own and shelled out $1 per half a bottle of water from their fridge for the kids. At least it was cold.
4. Go to the Outlet Mall before the Museum. It comes first on the highway and it will be a nice way to keep the kids well-behaved in anticipation of their trip.
5. Read up on the science of some of the things you may see. Tornadoes, rockets, bubbles, etc.

Venue Review: Lake Katherine Nature Center in Palos Heights

2009-06-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

"This is more fun than Chuck E. Cheese!" gushed my kindergarten graduate earlier today, during a visit to the Lake Katherine Nature Center in Palos Heights. My heart warmed when I heard this (the "ratty" amusement center is not on my list of ideal places to take the kids to very often) and I happily agreed.

For starters, the area is not overwhelmingly large. It's a decent size for little feet, especially those not as used to walking long distances thanks to a suburban lifestyle. We didn't hike on all the trails, but what we did cover allowed us to see dragonflies, tons of geese, ducks, robins, fish and a heron.

The waterfall garden was also very nice. It's an ideal spot to take pictures in front of (which I dutifully did and sent to daddy). It also offers a cool respite on a hot day, with shady trees surrounding it.

The other hit of the trip to Lake Katherine was the visit to its Frank Passerelli Nature Center . Its Wildlife Discovery Center, located in the building's lower half, gives kids a chance to see two huge rabbits, a couple of snakes, a number of frogs and toads, a few cute turtles, a ferret and a pretty large guinea pig.

On the upper level of the building, there were interesting taxidermy collections of caribou, deer, a raccoon, a small bear and a couple of other animals. There was also a fun little arts and crafts section with books and puzzles about insects, trees and other nature-oriented themes.

Lake Katherine is ideal if you're looking for a doable nature trip that will take not more than two to three hours, depending on how much you want to explore.

The Islamic theme was the diversity of Allah's creation.

And speaking of Islamic themes, we followed up the trip to Lake Katherine with Juma at Orland Park Prayer Center, a mosque none of the kids had yet seen. They were impressed with the architecture (looks like Dome of the Rock, albeit not as grand) and the free lollipops doled out to kids.

This is actually an idea I'm trying out for the next couple of weeks: visiting a kids' attraction near a mosque and following it up with Juma prayer insha Allah. The aim is to show the diversity of the Ummah, along with its unity. I hope to also show the rhythm of Islamic life, that our commitment to God is a balance between duties of the faithful, like prayer, and connecting to Him by remembering Him while we're having fun and learning. I hope that's the message the kids get.

The "I Love Islam" Series of Texbooks: Fantastic resource for kindergarten to upper elementary grades

2009-05-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

This series is a fantastic way to introduce basic Islamic concepts to younger kids. I've been using them since my middle daughter was almost four and we continue to read a chapter almost daily when there is time (after basic Quran reading, homework and Kumon).

There are a couple of things that make these textbooks more appealing than others. For starters there are colorful pictures in all of the chapters, breaking up the text in a nice way. Then, almost every chapter includes a story of average Muslim kids putting the section's main idea into practice. For instance, in Book 2, one of them focuses on the topic of respecting and listening to elders. The accompanying story relates what happens when a group of kids take off on their own during a class field trip to the zoo, against their teacher's instructions.

Finally, each chapter ends with a series of questions and suggested activities to make the point hit home.

I'm not a big fan of the accompanying audio CDs. They feature some Surahs of the Quran with explanation and stories, which is good. However, the songs Islamicize some popular ones like "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" and "Old McDonald's had a farm".

An Open Letter from an "Auntie" to young Muslims about Facebook

2009-05-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

Assalamu alaikum:

You're probably rolling your eyes already, figuring this is another rant from some “auntie” weighing in on how “bad” Facebook is. But before you click away from it, for the sake of your future, please continue reading. And no, this is not another dumb chain letter. Read on.

Once upon a time, I was young like you. I wanted people to like me. I wanted people to think I was funny, smart but not nerdy, and of course, good looking. But I digress. The point is, these needs of the young for attention and affirmation from peers haven't changed. However, with Facebook, they've gone in overdrive. And the repercussions can be dangerous for your future, even if today, it seems like it's just “fun”.

Who doesn't like to be complimented? Most of us get a non-drug-induced high if we're told we look “hot” in a photo, that our status update is so witty, or that that comment we made about someone's picture or wall post is just so funny. LOL.

Sometimes, we cross the line further in our attempts to please. We may say things which we'd never say in front of parents, aunties and uncles. We may put up pictures of ourselves arms around a coworker, friend or classmate of the opposite sex thinking, hey, it's all in good fun. We're not doing anything “bad”, really.

We may even remark about the physical characteristics of a certain woman in a crude manner. Or we may use words more fitting of a locker room athlete, not a dignified young Muslim.

First before Facebook, is Allah, the One Who knows your status whether you update it or not. The One who made you “hot”and “witty” in the first place. Remember that your parents may not catch you making that dumb comment or posting that picture. But of course, Allah is the All-Aware. And with Him, there's no delete button to turn to when you're caught.

But Allah is Forgiving. He is Merciful. He remembers and knows everything. But He knows we humans can do great things and cringeworthy things. He turns to us when we turn to Him in sincerity and forgiveness.

Human beings on the other hand, are not. They may not remember everything. But when it comes to recalling facts about the misdemeanors of others, many of us have a hard time overlooking, let alone forgiving or forgetting. Which brings me to the whole point of this letter: a mistake on Facebook can cost you big time.

Plenty has been written about bosses looking up potential employees on Facebook and the dangers this poses to employment. But for many others, long-term marriage prospects can and will be affected if you, young Muslim, forget that FB isn't just about your real friends. It's also about those others you casually add to your profile's collection. It's also about their friends.

Think about this in two situations.

Scenario 1: you post a questionable picture of yourself looking “hot”. It doesn't have to be bikini material. You are probably already aware that there are plenty of ways to be seductive without dressing like a Baywatch Babe. A number of your friends on FB tell you how “hot” you look. But remember, whenever one of your friends comments on anything, ALL of their friends know (unless they choose to turn this option off). These other “friends” also have access not only to the picture commented on, but your ENTIRE album.

Scenario 2: you make a crude remark about a certain person's attractiveness or lack of it on your wall or in a status update. I'll give you an example I know of personally. A young guy, unmarried, put in his profile that he was surprised that one of his overweight female patients had a boyfriend (he's a doctor in training). This guy has memorized the entire Quran. He teaches about Islam. He is not on my friends list. But I know about this comment through FB.

Now, a lot of guys could and do say cruel and inconsiderate stuff like that. But someone who's memorized the Quran? Someone who teaches Islam? Someone who knows that God looks at our hearts not our appearances? I'm not saying he needs to go and marry someone overweight to atone for his comment. But it does say something about his character, doesn't it?

Getting married nowadays has become a major struggle in the Muslim community for many reasons. There are plenty of explanations for it, which I'm not going to go into. But most relevant for the purpose of this letter is that Facebook can kill your prospects pretty quickly if you say or post something stupid. There are serious long-term consequences. If anything, FB offers people a look at your character. Stuff that you could easily hide in a meeting at a prospective spouse's home for tea can easily be found on FB. Then, the flashy suit, six-figure salary, good looks and Ivy League education will quickly go out the window. Nobody wants to marry a jerk or a jerkette. And even if they decide to, these couples usually end up splitting up a couple of years down the road eventually. Few people today can stand day to day contact with a jerk or jerkette whether there are kids involved or not.

'It's not fair!' you're probably saying. You're right. It isn't always fair. An angry comment on your wall on a day you were ticked about something or a joke about a fat girl when you were in a jovial mood shouldn't be the sole judge of your character. But those who aren't your real life friends don't really know that and are unlikely to care. Don't judge a person by their Facebook profile is good advice, but few are there who will heed it.

So be careful. Converse with your friends, but be on guard. The potential for misunderstanding about who you really are is ripe on FB. And ultimately, remember that Allah is always watching, and we are all accountable for everything we say and do.

Sincerely,
Auntie Who Cares

P.S. If you're a parent, aunt, uncle or older sibling of a young Muslim on FB, please share the main points of this letter with him or her.

3 reasons kids SHOULD attend weddings

2009-04-10T08:02:00.000-07:00

During a recent family wedding, I began to better understand why many invitations for such events come in an envelope addressed only to "Mr. and Mrs." as opposed to "Mr. and Mrs. and family."

For starters, there's the fact that getting kids to sit down and behave politely in a lushly carpeted, tastefully decorated banquet hall is a Jihad few parents want to undertake, especially when expensive clothes and glass dishes are involved.

Then there is also the danger of public embarrassment in front of people you are already or about to be related to. It's one thing when your toddler loses it in front of anonymous cashiers and grocery store customers. It's quite the other when you're likely to be seeing most of the people at the wedding a couple of times a year for the rest of your life.

But even with these challenges, I still believe the "and family" part of a wedding invitation should be included as much as possible. Here's why:

1. To reinforce manners

We all talk about children's bad manners today. But the decline in civility isn't as recent as we like to think. Even Socrates allegedly complained about this. Weddings are an excellent venue to model, teach and reinforce these manners.

It may actually be worthwhile to have kids take a manners or etiquette class a few months or weeks before the event to prepare for the big day.

2. Weddings are about family

Sure, it's embarrassing to see your daughter picking up her fancy dress and repeatedly pull up her slipping leggings as the groom's family extols his virtues, as happened in my case at the above-mentioned family wedding. But that's what family life is all about, a paradoxical combination of elegance and embarrassment, smiling and sadness, laughter and rage. This is the stuff that makes family life and marriage is one stage of that.

3. To reinforce Islamic values

This is the most important reason to invite kids to a wedding. On television, in movies and storybooks, the picture painted of this event is very different from the Muslim reality. In popular culture, the image of a bride wearing white, a groom in a tuxedo, a priest conducting a ceremony in a church, followed by a party with wine and dancing are still portrayed as normative.

While there are definitely cultural differences in how Muslims around the world celebrate this milestone, there are some clear commonalities: the presence of the Imam to conduct the ceremony; the presentation of the Prophet's marriage sermon, the collective Dua for the couple, as well as Islamic advice often given by the Imam or another person close to the couple after this.

We do a disservice to our children and the next generation of Muslims when we exclude them from weddings, a stage we pray they eventually pass through in the future. Although their presence can be annoying and embarrassing at times, this is a small price to pay for the reinforcement of Islamic values and for them to witness how this critical life juncture is conducted among Muslims.

If you're planning a wedding, please consider this before you seal that envelope addressed to "Mr. and Mrs....only".

Event Review: Kids' Expo 2009 in Tinley Park

2009-03-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's not easy finding places to take your kids to where you can learn something while they enjoy as well. But the annual Kids' Expo, held in Tinley Park this weekend, is one of those rare venues.

For kids, the ferris wheel and inflatables, loads of candy, roaming mascots, stage shows, stickers, temporary tattoos and face painting are a dream come true.

For parents, the free info on issues like cyber-safety, enrichment classes, summer camps and schools, along with the affordable price tag for entry and attractions make it an ideal weekend afternoon activity. I paid $5.00 for admission, thanks to a coupon from Family Time Magazine which offered a half price discount. My kids, all under 12, were free. I bought no food or drinks, since we'd brought our own (had to put my foot down on this one when demands for popcorn surfaced). I shelled $3 each for two of the kids to get face painting.

Things to remember to make your trip easier:
1. Bring at least $5 to $10 of cash per child. That's for the face painting ($3) and any other stuff they want to buy. But make a budget for each child before you go. There's a lot of money that can be wasted on useless toys and other things that are tempting to buy at stalls.
2. Make sure you bring cash. I discovered when I got there that they did not accept check or credit card for admission.
3. I would not purchase food there. The popcorn at one booth, for instance, was $3 per box, a complete rip-off. There are enough samples and a truckload of candy at almost every booth given out for free.
4. Go before noon or earlier. On Sunday, when we went, it was packed when we got there a little before 11 am. We had a hard time finding parking.
5. Bring a stroller for toddlers and a double stroller if you've got preschoolers as well. There's a lot of walking involved and don't be surprised if you're asked to pick up a tired kid.
6. Bring a medium-sized, sturdy cloth bag to stash your goodies in. The plastic ones given out at some booths were either too small or not big enough to fit everything in, not to mention bad for the planet.
7. If possible, leave all coats and jackets in the car. Otherwise you'll be lugging them around as you try to maneuver the crowd in the aisles.

Just say "NO" to the new Dora

2009-03-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

I have long loved Dora the Explorer, the adorably smart, spunky and squeaky clean cartoon character. Since we don't have television at home, Dora is one of the few DVDs the kids are allowed to watch on the computer (apart from Adam's World, and a very few others).

Which is why I was more than chagrined to read that a new version of the beloved character is in the works, aimed at a tween audience. And yep, you guessed it, this new Dora highlights the sexual innuendo girls are deluged with online, on television and in movies and magazines.

That of course means she'll be "trading in her signature tomboy shorts and short bob for longer locks and a short skirt."

Why do revealing clothes and flaunting sexiness have to become a rite of passage into tweenhood for girls in our culture? Why, after almost 50 years of consciousness-raising, laws and public pressure to value women for who they are, not how they look, do we continue to allow media executives and moguls (a number of whom are women as well), to brainwash us, starting with young girls?

If you're a parent with a daughter, don't buy this new Dora. In fact, make sure you don't give it to anyone as a gift. And make sure you let those money-grubbers at Mattel and Nickelodeon know that you will not be buying the new or old Dora any longer.

Closing Notes on Black History Month

2009-02-25T18:21:00.001-08:00

As February ends and with it, Black History Month, there are a couple of resources and experiences that may be useful for next year insha Allah.

1. The first is to take advantage of every opportunity during the month to highlight African-American achievement. Sure, America has a black president. That doesn't mean that the negative images and stereotypes of African-Americans are no longer in swing. The racism now is just more subtle.

So read about, check out exhibits of and watch programs that discuss the successes of African-Americans based on your child's level of interest. If it's planes, talk about the Tuskagee Airmen. If it's dolls, read a great book about dolls during the time of the Underground Railroad like Almost to Freedom by Vaunda Micheaux Nelson. If it's trains, read Henry's Freedom Box by Ellen Levine about how Henry "Box" Brown escaped slavery in a box that traveled on the railroad.

2. Talk about Africa in Islamic history. Those of us raised in North America have been deluged with stereotypes of this continent as a source of poverty, tribalism and illiteracy. This is so far from the truth. From a Muslim perspective, Africa has been not only the first refuge of the early Muslims, where Muslims sought asylum in Habasha, modern-day Ethiopia, when its leader was a just Christian king named Najashi. It is also the home of more than one center of scholarship in the Islamic world, particularly Mali and Timbuktu.

And of course don't forget to talk about notable African Muslims throughout history like Bilal ibn Rabah, Uthman Dan Fodio and Mansa Musa.

3. Discuss the civil rights movement in America and emphasize the role of Malcolm X. This is so important because he is usually overshadowed by figures like Martin Luther King Jr., for example. Malcolm X is significant because he is the most well-known American Muslim to fight for the rights of African-Americans. He is an American Muslim worthy of emulation for his commitment to his faith, integrity, forthrightness and courage.

When speaking of his life, it is important to emphasize that he progressed with time, eventually forsaking his belief in the "white man as devil" for the belief in the brotherhood of human beings that Islam teaches. An excellent book for children ages 7 to 10 about him is Malcolm X: A Fire Burning Brightly by Walter Dean Myers.

4. Slavery is a complex subject which usually has to be discussed because of the long-term role it has played in African history. Depending on the age of your child, it is enough to say that Allah has ordered us in the Quran to free slaves (as Abu Bakr freed Bilal, may Allah be pleased with them both). There are scholarly discussions of slavery from an Islamic perspective which you can find online if you or your child are interested in finding out more.

5. Racism in the Muslim community against Africans and African-Americans is still around. I don't need to post any links for that one. The ugliness if obvious in the kind of stupid comments made about which skin color is "beautiful" and which is not, for instance.

To avoid your kids picking up these Haram ideas, try these things if you are a non-African-American Muslim:

a. for your girls, buy black dolls. Give them names of famous Muslim women and regularly praise how beautiful they are.
b. socialize with African and African-American Muslims in your home by inviting them over to dinner regularly and arranging play dates for the kids.
c. emphasize repeatedly the brother- and sisterhood that Islam requires of all Muslims, reminding your kids and yourself that Allah looks at our hearts, not our colors.
d. discuss how our different colors are a sign of Allah's Power and Creativity (Quran 30:22).

6. Attend a dramatic or theatrical presentation on some aspect of African history, like the Underground Railroad. My older two (ages 6 and 5) watched one at our local library in the middle of February. It could have been a lot more interesting, but it still helped bring to life history in a dynamic way that just reading books or watching videos could not have done.

Things I'd like to do next year insha Allah:

1. Visit the Bronzeville Children's Museum, the nation's only African-American children's museum.
2. Find a child-friendly movie about Malcolm X to watch with the kids
3. Read more stories about African Muslims, with a focus on women.

An excellent science resource for the under-7 age group

2009-02-10T07:10:00.000-08:00

Most of us can answer our kids' basic questions about the world around them with simple answers (e.g. why is the sky blue? what makes a rainbow? why am I sick?). But for times when you feel they'd be receptive to building their knowledge base a little more, an excellent resource is the "Let's-Read-And-Find-Out-Science" series of books.

The topics run the gamut from dinosaurs and why germs make us sick to where does the garbage go and tornadoes. Unlike my husband, I'm not much of a science person, so I find it harder to explain some things to the kids in a manner comprehensible to a first grader. That's why these books are so helpful.

Check out the whole list of the books here.

DVD Review: March of the Penguins

2009-01-05T08:14:00.001-08:00

If you're complaining about Chicago's nasty, brutish but hardly short winter this year, then you need to watch the film March of the Penguins. But grab that tissue box before you hunker down with the kids to see this moving documentary: it'll make you do more than sniffle from the cold.

The 2005 French nature documentary follows hundreds of emperor penguins from Antarctica on their yearly trek to breed the next generation. The film covers the incredibly disciplined single-file dawdle of these birds to said location, the call to mate (penguin pick-up lines?), the "act", which is shown in a subtle manner, but forward if you're not ready to explain yet the birds and the bees (or should I say, the penguins and the praying mantises) to the laying, hatching, birth and growth of the adorable baby penguins. In between it all are at least two journeys to the sea and back to eat and bring back food for the young 'uns, two predator attacks and one potential penguin abduction.

For all of us whining about the bitter cold, the scene where the daddy penguins huddle to keep their eggs warm amid a spectacularly frigid and violently windy blizzard should teach us three important lessons (the moms are off taking their turn to go eat after three months while this is happening). The first is to be grateful that we don't need to huddle to keep warm. The second is that once left on their own with their offspring, dads are more than capable of doing their part as parents. The third is that moms should not feel guilty for taking out time for themselves.

The tissue box will be needed when watching a couple of the scenes though. One is when a "possibly young couple", according to narrator Morgan Freeman, fail to pass their egg to each other in time to save it from the cold. Another is when a mother wails in distress after discovering that the furry, gray mass of feathers covered in snow after a deadly blizzard is her baby. Depending on how sensitive your kids are, you may want to forward these scenes.

If you're looking for something fun and fascinating to watch for your next family movie night, March of the Penguins is your ticket. Just don't forget the tissue box.

Review: DuPage Children's Museum

2009-01-05T08:06:00.001-08:00

Note to self: during winter break, never visit a museum that doesn't offer free or discount days in our fair, windy city. That was the mistake I made by deciding to visit the DuPage Children's Museum last Monday. But it was still worth the trip, despite the huge crowd.

After finally finding parking in the free lot and shelling out $30 for admission (three kids and me), we proceeded to hang up our jackets in an area crammed thick with winter paraphernalia. I was lucky enough to find three hangers in a row to spare me the aggravation of lugging their coats all over the museum (the hangers don't come off the pole).

The Bubbles exhibit was our first stop and it was a favorite. Making huge-sized bubbles was a hit, especially in the Bubble Booth, where you can make one that surrounds you. Very cool.

Waterways was our next stop. This section was similar to the one at the Chicago Children's Museum (Navy Pier), minus the colorful raincoats that the latter offers participants. Although there were aprons available for kids to wear during their water exploration, they didn't do a good job keeping a lot of kids dry. I'd recommend brining an extra change of clothes per child.

But if you don't have the additional apparel, they could always dry off in the AirWorks exhibit, which focuses on wind power. There's a wind tunnel that serves as a kind of giant hair dryer if you're wet. But be careful: the air is semi-cool, not warm.

The Build It exhibit offered kids the opportunity to build things using various materials, from wood, hammer and nails for older kids to large-sized blocks useful for constructing tall towers and homes.

There is also a great section for babies and toddlers called Young Explorers that even my five- and six-year-olds enjoyed. Soft toys and brightly colored cushions make it a tactile adventure for the two and under set.

The Arts and Crafts room was also a winner. The day we went, kids were invited to make snow sculptures out of packing peanuts.

Some logistical tips to make your trip more enjoyable

1. There is a cafeteria in the museum's lower level with vending machines, so finding a place to eat lunch is not a problem, although we brought our own. However, I'm not sure if the machines sell anything besides drinks and snack food, so you may want to call ahead and check.
2. Come early and be ready to stay most of the day. There is plenty to see and it's always a good idea to let kids explore at their own pace.
3. As I mentioned above, bring an extra change of clothes per child, so they can enjoy playing in the water without you worrying they'll catch a cold from getting wet.
4. Bathrooms are, as expected, clean and child-friendly, with one sink at kid-level. And of course, a diaper changing table is available.
5. If you are going on a day there are likely to be larger crowds, dress your kids in something that would help identify them from far away. I lost track of each of my three at one terrifying point or another. A neon tag, shirt or hairband are good bets.

Insha Allah, we'll probably make a trip back to the museum to explore its upper level, which we didn't get a chance to see. But it will most probably NOT be when the rest of Chicago's schools are on break.

Happy New Year, Islamic and other

2008-12-31T18:25:00.000-08:00

The Islamic New Year began on Monday and of course, the one most around the world commemorate starts in just a few hours here in Chicago. That makes it an ideal time to discuss both topics and the similarities and differences between the two calendars.

Using an actual or online calendar, show your kids how the months and days are divided up. I prefer using a wall calendar which features both Islamic and Gregorian calendar dates, along with some beautiful Muslim artwork. We've got this one up on the kitchen wall

A couple of points to bring up:

1. What is the purpose of calendars?

To mark the passage of time. It is like a clock that marks the hours of the day. In a calendar, a month can be compared to the small or hour hand of a clock. Each day of the month is like the long or minute hand.

2. Why is it so important to know and mark the passage of time?

a. in the life of a Muslim, every second counts because we have a purpose: to worship Allah. A Muslim strives to do this in many beautiful ways, such as praying five times a day, telling the truth, being kind to others and standing up for what is right.
b. Allah will ask us how we used our time in this life on the Day of Judgement. If we used it to do good things, Insha Allah, we will go to Jannah. If not, then we will have to face the consequences of that choice in Jahannum. (Note: I understand talking about Hell is hard, but depending on the age and level of understanding of your child, you can introduce it in brief and gradual ways).
c. Because our every moment counts, a Muslim must always be aware of time, be it years, months, days, hours, minutes or seconds.
d. time is a gift from Allah but, like all blessings, we will have to give an account of how we used it. You can discuss some good versus bad ways of using time (e.g. watching excessive amounts of television as opposed to visiting a sick friend).

3. Lunar versus solar calendar

Saudi Aramco World's "Patterns of Moon, Patterns of Sun" article on this topic offers a great explanation of the development of the Islamic calendar. You can develop a couple of simple talking points based on it, depending on how much you want to share or your child is interested in.

Most significant is that in "the Qur’an, in Chapter 10, Verse 5, states that time should be reckoned by the moon."

4. Singin' about that Islamic calendar till you memorize it

While most of us are familiar with the Gregorian calendar months, remembering the Islamic months and their order is trickier since most of us don't use them as often. This is where a catchy tune helps memory (which is why commercial jingles work so well). The song that helped my kids and I sucessfully remember that Zul Hijjah is the last month of the Islamic calendar and Muharram its first is the "Months in Islam" by Zain Bhika on Yusuf Islam's CD I Look I See.

5. Ringin' in the New Year, Gregorian and Islamic style

You can talk about how New Year's Eve and Day are celebrated around the world (e.g. Times Square, resolutions, etc.). To mark the Islamic calendar, to my knowledge, there isn't partying, but it may be a good time to reflect on the year past and plan for the one ahead. Activity idea: come up with 5 things you and your kid want to accomplish in the next 12 months and help each other attain that goal. Or pick just one.

Winter Break: Snowflake Bentley and a passion for snow

2008-12-26T20:57:00.000-08:00

With the winter weather here in Chicago at its harshest, and the kids at home for the break, it's time to whip out those fun activities we've been waiting to try. So here are a couple of things to do beyond the usual (e.g. playing in snow, visiting the local mall's play area and sledding down the nearest hill).

1. Read Snowflake Bentley by Jacqueline Briggs Martin. An incredible book about Wilson Bentley, a Vermont farmer of the late 19th century with such a passion for snowflakes that he became the first person to successfully photograph the icy crystals. Check out some beautiful photographs of his original works here.
2. Microsoft has an interesting snowflake activity for your computer-addicted young 'uns here
3. Also check out this digital library of Bentley's photos.

Islamic lessons:
1. Read this one in a Muslim magazine: snowflakes are like the Muslims going for Hajj, all wrapped in white Ihram, but beautiful and unique in their own way. But when they are all together at this pilgrimage, they look like one sheet of snow, unified while retaining their beauty.
2. Snowflake Bentley is an example of a person who persisted in pursuing his passion and giving the world the gift of the first photographs of snowflakes, something not just winter enthusiasts, but scientists appreciated and benefited from as well. He would take picture upon picture and would not give up until he was able to successfully take these photographs. He also did not care that his friends and neighbors felt he was wasting his time.
3. Lesson for parents: believe in your kids' dreams as Wilson Bentley's parents, especially his mother did.
4. When it snows, make Dua: the heavens are open! I am still searching for the Hadith for this. If you find it, please post it.

What I learned during the week-long Eid break.....

2008-12-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

Since my kids attend a full-time Muslim school, they had all of this week off for the Eid holiday. The challenge then, was to make these seven days as stupendous and incredible as they could be. I had two reasons to do this.

The first was that Christmas is coming up and with the lights, decorations, etc. up all over the city, it's only natural for a kid to want something similar for their own holiday. At least that's how I see it. Growing up, Eid for me was as it was for many of us born and raised in non-Muslim countries: dull. The routine was the same: get dressed in ethnic clothes you wouldn't be caught dead wearing in front of your school friends, go to an ugly warehouse to pray Eid prayer, which you neither understood nor were ever taught how to pray, and finally, go home and visit family and friends or have people over. Gifts weren't really that big a deal, and most of the time you'd get cash, which of course you'd have to hand over to your parents.

Not that I'm trying to bash my parents or their generation. Since many of them were first-generation immigrants from countries where you didn't have to make a concerted effort to make Eid special, they didn't quite get why it was so important for a kid to celebrate it in a really, really big way. They didn't understand the buildup to the greatest winter celebration in their newly adopted culture: Christmas. We did Christmas artwork, the classroom, school, mall and streets were decorated to the nth degree and every single television program you enjoyed watching, from the cartoons to the sitcoms, had a Christmas special.

The second reason I went crazy was that I wanted to test drive Eid break ideas. Here are a couple of things we did:

1. attend Eid prayers and hang out with family and exchange gifts (ACTUAL gifts, no cash allowed) (2 days)
2. visit the Peggy Noteabart Nature Museum and the Lincoln Park Conservatory (they're walking distance from each other) (1 day).
3. go to a mall play area (1 afternoon).
4. attend an Eid party hosted by the Inner-City Muslim Action Network(1 day).

At the end of the week, the kids said their favorite parts were getting their faces painted (at the IMAN party), eating a hot dog and chips (IMAN party) and the puppet show (IMAN party again, surprise, surprise). My older one said she liked every day of Eid Break.

Alhamdu lillah, Success!

But at one point, it became exhausting, being out every other day. Perhaps a better way to do it is sandwich in some stay-at-home activities for each day an outing is planned. Or maybe I'm taking this a little too seriously...

IMAN Party: it was great! It was kind of like a mini-Takin' It To The Streets, the biannual street festival the organization arranges. I also liked it because it was a truly multicultural event. While most participants were African-American, Arabs, South Asians and others also starred in the production. In a city as racially and ethnically divided as Chicago, I was so glad that my kids were able to celebrate Eid with Muslims of various backgrounds. It was a great way to end a festive week off. Insha Allah, we'll definitely be there for the next Eid party.

Thanksgiving weekend idea: Shukr in action

2008-11-25T10:15:00.000-08:00

Salam/Peace:

Thanksgiving weekend always brings with it talk of gratefulness and how to cultivate this quality in ourselves and our families.

Take some time this hectic weekend, even if only for 10 minutes before bedtime, to discuss the quality of Shukr, thankfulness, that every Muslim must have and how to implement that through conscious recognition of God's blessings, along with daily Duas thanking Him for them.

A couple of books you may want to read for younger kids (six and under) include:

Pizza in his Pocket: Learning to be thankful to Allah by Jawaad Abdul Rahman
Thank You O Allah! by Ayesha bint Mahmood

I thought this article from eHow.com offered some nice tips on how to teach kids thankfulness, as well as this one from the folks at Quaker Oatmeal.

Finally, if you want to put those lessons of thankfulness in action, this coming Sunday November 30, 2008, a couple of people are collecting clothes and toys for needy families in time for Eid-ul-Adha. Here are the details:

"Our holy festival of Eid al Adha is estimated for December 8th. Many families are unable to buy gifts or new clothes for the holiday. In an effort to empower Muslim families with dignity at Eid salat, the South Side Eid Committee will be running an Eid clothing drive. We will be collecting new or gently used holiday clothing. You may also donate winter clothing and toys at this event. The event is scheduled for November 30, 2008 at the Alpha Towers activity room located at 936 East 47th Street (just 1 mile west of the 47th Street exit on Lake Shore Drive). The drop off times are from 10am-2pm. Unfortunately, we cannot accommodate drop offs at any other time. We encourage you to forward this email on to your friends and neighbors and to pool your resources together to transport as many items as possible to this event. For more information, please email eidclothingdrive@gmail.com"

Insha Allah, I'm planning to take my kids here. Hopefully, the lesson they'll learn is that Shukr means sharing with others as well. Now I have to make sure I'll have time to talk to them about Shukr on Saturday evening before we drop off our items.

Hajj and teaching the lesson of sacrifice

2008-11-25T09:03:00.001-08:00

Salam/Peace:

The Islamic month of Zul Hijjah's coming up and its first 10 days are considered blessed. This article offers some interesting ideas of what you can do to teach your kids about them, as well as themes related to Hajj, like aspects of Prophet Abraham, peace be upon him,'s life as well as the pilgrimage itself.

Hammering home the lesson of sacrifice is important here, so it's ideal to talk about what the word means exactly. That includes not just the traditional sacrifice of meat that is distributed to family, neighbors and the poor.

Here are a couple of talking points:

1. The Messengers and Prophets of God sacrificed by:
-giving up comfortable, conflict-free lives to spread the message of Allah
-enduring all sorts of ridicule, abuse and torture to implement and teach the Truth, as well as establish a community that was its living embodiment. The Prophet Muhammad's, peace and blessings be upon him, story of his experience at Taif is one example.

2. Parents sacrifice their time and energy everyday to do the following:
-earn money so we can get the food, clothes and shelter we need
-cook for their kids
-drive them to and from school and activities
-helping them with homework
-teaching them the Quran and Islamic studies or arranging for someone to do so

2. Kids can sacrifice their time and energy by:
-helping a younger sibling get fed or dressed
-helping with homework
-helping a parent clear the table, wash dishes, feed the pet or take out the garbage
-allowing a family member to watch television or use the computer when they wanted to

Activity: A Sacrifice Jar: take an empty jar and fill it with five or 10 slips of paper with ideas of how a person can practice the virtue of sacrifice. This can include the above-mentioned ideas (e.g. helping a younger sister with homework) or anything else that you feel will cultivate this virtue. During the first 10 days of Zul Hijjah, have each of your kids pick at least two slips and put sacrifice into practice.

Great website: IslamicPlayground.com

2008-11-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

Salam/Peace:

My older two kids have become fascinated with this great website

IslamicPlayground.com features all kinds of knowledge-building games for children ages 4 to about 10 that are fun, educational and attractive, minus the synthesized Middle Eastern tunes played when you're ready to go to the next level or emerge a victor.

With the Obama win, can the black doll study's results finally be challenged?

2008-11-12T07:26:00.000-08:00

President-elect Barack Obama's victory last week was electrifying and emotional for millions around the world. While it has elicited soul-searching in Europe, where dark-skinned citizens continue to feel disenfranchised politically, I hope similar self-reflection will follow worldwide on the culturally negative attitude towards dark skin. With an African-American family in the White House, will we finally start believing that black is truly beautiful?

I was wondering just that this morning as I was fixing my daughter's dolls on her bed, one of whom is dark-skinned "Sumayya". I bought this one a couple of years back to balance out the lighter-hued dolls most people would gift my girls with. It reminded me of that study of black dolls and white dolls first conducted over 40 years ago which influenced the demise of racial segregationist policies in the United States and was redone recently. The study found that in both cases, two-thirds of children surveyed in the U.S. and Trinidad chose the white doll over the black one and associated positive characteristics with it. Here are a couple of interesting excerpts from the New York Times article about this:

''In our society, black and Latino children are bombarded with images - in movies, toys, books - that tell them theirs is not the preferred race. Most heroes, like Rambo and He-Man, and most authority figures, like police and teachers, are white. The message is that authority, beauty, goodness, and power most often have a white face.''

[...]

St. Elmo Gopaul, secretary general of the Trinidad and Tobago teacher's union, said at a news conference at the annual meeting: ''Even in Trinidad, where 85 percent of the people are black, and we have a black government, we have not recovered from 400 years in which blacks knew the white man as the boss.''

So a black president and first family are clearly not enough to drive home the point that all skin colors are an example of God's beautiful handiwork. But I do think that there will very possibly be many more positive images than before. It's already happening. This morning, I read an article comparing Michelle Obama's fashion sense with that of the late Jacqueline Kennedy. Another article a few days back tried to depict how the the American Girl series would describe the new lives of Sasha and Malia Obama. And Barack Obama's class and personal integrity have been lauded during and after his campaign.

I thought this advice at the end of the article offered an excellent solution: "Dr. Powell-Hopson recommended schools have a special curriculum that included black history, and the achievements of black people in areas such as professions, politics, and athletics. She also recommended training for the parents to help them bolster their children's racial pride through, for instance, reading them stories about blacks, talking to them about black people who have been successful, and praising the children for their own accomplishments."

The 10 Best islamic Books for Your Child's First 3 years

2008-11-06T12:19:00.001-08:00

This is my personal list of favorites based on six years of parenting experience. We've come a long way, Alhamdu lillah. When I was growing up there were absolutely no Islamic books for this demographic. That said, I think there need to be many, many more books like these. Based on my own personal search for good Islamic material, most of the selections available today focus on kids aged 4 to 11.

Anyhow, here's the list:

1. Allah is Al-Rahman by Saba Ghazi Ameen: a lovely, chunky board book that allows babies to lift the flaps, learn about shapes and that God is Merciful. What more could you ask for? Awesome. Wish there were more like this one. Please let me know if you come across something like this.

2. Allah is Al-Khaliq also by Saba Ghazi Ameen: another board book minus the fun flaps, but still great for babies who like to chew their material before reading it. This one focuses on how God is the Creator while teaching colors.

3. My First Arabic Alphabet Book by Siddiqa Juma: this small-sized board book is simple, with one watercolor illustration of an Arabic letter per page. It's perfect because it's uncomplicated and helps kids recognize the shape of the letters instead of focusing on some picture of a word that starts with that letter like other alphabet books do.

4. Animals by Farah Sardar: animals and babies have long made the perfect combination in children's literature (think Beatrix Potter's books). This one combines good illustrations with effective rhymes that remind readers of the One Who made these lovely creatures.

5. Allah Gave Me Two Ears to Hear by Amrana Arif: a baby's first three years are about discovering the world around him/her through the senses. This book focuses on how one little girl uses the hearing Allah gave her to do things like listen to the rustling of the autumn leaves and the Adhan her father gives when it's time to pray. Simple illustrations and nice rhymes. What I liked about this book as well was that the child and family featured are dark-skinned, which may not be a big deal for some, but is a huge deal if you want to show the diversity of the Ummah and the world in a positive way starting from a young age. Traditionally, children's books in English have featured light-skinned characters as the norm, so this is important.

6. Allah Gave Me A Tongue To Taste by Ayesha Jones: another nice one about the sense of taste which includes rhyming descriptions of food from various cultures, particularly Muslim ones.

7. Allah Gave Me Two Hands and Feet by Raana Bokhari: this book explores the sense of touch, from feeling water tickling toes at the beach to standing "on my feet, in the cold and the heat" to thank Allah in prayer "for my life, every day!"

8. Allah Gave Me A Nose To Smell by Rizwana Qamaruddin: from minty toothpaste to the baby's dirty diaper, thank Allah for your nose! The only issue with this book is the use of British terms ("pong", "nappy" and "fish and chips"), which will have to be explained to those of us with non-Brit kids.

9. What Do We Say....(A Guide to Islamic Manners) by Noorah Kathryn Abdullah: this is a great way to teach small children basic Islamic expressions like "Bismillah", "Alhamdu lillah", "Assalamu alaikum" and "Maasha Allah". The book presents the reader with a situation in question form and then gives the answer in English and Arabic text ("what do we say when we start eating? We say Bismillah"). The only thing that was odd was the very last page when it talked about what kids should say when they are frightened and showed a boy running away from a dog. Bad idea, since most advice says to NOT run from one for the sake of your safety.

10. Muslim Nursery Rhymes by Mustafa Yusuf McDermott: even though it's not my personal favorite, my kids loved it, and since they're its primary audience, I had to include it in the list. Essentially, this book takes common English language nursery rhymes and songs (e.g. Three Blind Mice, Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star) and gives them Islamic themes. This can lead to them sounding a bit awkward at times (or maybe it's just the way I was reading them). Nonetheless, kids learn about the importance of praying, learning about their faith, and keeping promises, among other things.

Review: Chicago Children's Museum, Navy Pier

2008-11-03T13:02:00.000-08:00

Seeing that today was a combination of: 1. a day off for my older two kids (teacher in-service day) 2. an incredibly warm and sunny November 3rd and 3. Target Free Monday at the Chicago Children's Museum, I decided to lug all three of my offspring and myself to Navy Pier this morning. I return pleased but tired.

This museum is great if you've got more than one kid under 10 to entertain. My kids are 6,5 and 2 so the exhibits and activities educated and entertained all three of them.

But what seemed to most amuse my youngest was the train ride to and from the locale. We parked our car at a Metra station close to our house and took it all the way to downtown, where we caught one CTA bus which got us to Navy Pier in about 10 minutes. If the weather is nice, this is a great way to travel, not to mention save money. Parking at Navy Pier will cost you at least $20, and don't forget gas. My total transportation fee set me back about $10. The kids were all free on both the train and the bus.

Target Free Mondays allows kids under the age of 15 to visit the museum for free on the first Monday of every month. Adults, though, have to pay the $9 admission fee, unless you have a membership.

In terms of exhibits, all three of the offspring enjoyed Skyline, especially the Construction Zone, where they tried to build some kind of structure with the plethora of nuts, bolts and wooden planks. It was the one exhibit where all three of the kids worked to create something together.

Waterways is a popular one with kids, allowing them to float plastic boats in the Waterways River and use a pulley to bring water up in a bucket and dump it right back down, similar to how a well would work. There are child-sized, multicolored, plastic raincoats, which participants should wear before getting their hands wet. They're pretty good at keeping children dry, but for younger kids, it would be a good idea to keep an extra change of clothes in the diaper bag just in case.

One Islamic theme that struck me while watching my six-year-old pull water up in a bucket and dump it right back down was the story of the man who gave a thirsty dog a drink of water. In extreme heat, he searched for water. Once he found a well though, there was no rope to pull up the water (as there was in this exhibit of the museum). So, with great difficulty, he climbed down it to quench his own thirst. When he came back up, he encountered a dog dying of thirst. Instead of dismissing the animal, he returned to the bottom of the well, filled his leather socks with water and climbed back up holding the now heavy socks between his teeth. He then let the animal drink from them. In return, he was granted Paradise. You can find one nicely told version of this incident in the book Love All Creatures, edited by Khurram Murad, which is part of the Treasury of Islamic Tales series. This is an awesome set of books and CDs or cassettes, by the way, and worth every penny.

The Secrets of Circles was a pretty cool exhibit at the museum too, and successfully explained how circles can and have been used to build homes, boats and other things around the world. I didn't know that using the circular shape actually reduces how much material you need in construction.

I was pleasantly surprised to see an illustration of the Dome of the Rock (Qubbatus Sakhrah in Arabic) as an example of circular construction in the exhibit and realized that one Islamic theme that can be discussed with your kids is the use of the dome in Islamic architecture, especially in mosques. I'll have to look for kids' books on this topic at my next library visit Insha Allah.

More fall-related random ideas

2008-10-26T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've gone a little fall crazy, so I've taken out virtually any and everything I can get my hands on from the local library. Last week, I made seven online book and DVD requests in one sitting at the computer through the inter-library loan system. Since my older two are in KG and grade one, I've tried to check out both stories about the fall and non-fiction, science type of material.

For hands-on stuff, we've done a couple of the standard things: apple bobbing (my two-year-old loved this one!), rake leaves outside with their plastic rakes and jump in the pile; go on a fall leaf walk; make apple pie (we did it from scratch!).

The last was a great activity. Baking always lets kids hone those fine motor skills (kneading, mixing, etc.). Older kids benefit from the fractions involved (half a cup of this, a quarter teaspoon of that, etc.). The pie turned out okay, but I would rather have made the traditional crust instead of the crumbly one we did. We also didn't peel the apples we used in the pie, which was a mistake, since the filling ended up not being as smooth in texture.

If you do go on a fall leaf walk, I would definitely recommend checking out your local nature center to see if they're offering one. My older two and I went last week to the Sand Ridge Nature Center in South Holland for such a tour and it was wonderful. It's one thing to admire leaves and trees as an amateur and quite another to do the same with a seasoned guide. As she led us on a one-mile hike of the area surrounding the center, we learned a little about the history of the place, got to see a live slug (looked like a piece of fat okra to me) and see all kinds of mushrooms. It would have been nice to see some deer and possums, which apparently did live on the site, but they were either too scared or preoccupied to be seen.

One Islamic theme which struck me on the tour was how Allah never wastes anything and how wastefulness in general is forbidden in Islam. The fallen leaves become part of the soil, enriching it for the next generation of trees; the fallen trunks of dying trees become homes for ants and other insects; every plant, every insect has its use and a role to play in the ecosystem. That not only reflects God's Wisdom and incredible planning, but it also perhaps, offers us a reminder to reuse and recycle as much as possible. A beautiful verse of the Quran in this regard, which also connects to fall is in Surah 6, verse 141: " It is He Who produceth gardens, with trellises and without, and dates, and tilth with produce of all kinds, and olives and pomegranates, similar (in kind) and different (in variety): eat of their fruit in their season, but render the dues that are proper on the day that the harvest is gathered. But waste not by excess: for God loveth not the wasters."

Welcome!

2008-10-19T16:30:00.001-07:00

Assalamu alaikum and Hello:

This blog aims to provide tips, ideas, resources, reviews and commentary for parents from a Muslim perspective. While some posts will be more Islam-specific, others can be used by parents of any faith or no faith.

The aim of this exercise is to offer some unique and useful information to parents struggling to share their faith with their children in a North American context, with a special emphasis on Chicago.

My background: I am a mother of three children all under the age of 7. The eldest is in first grade, the second in kindergarten and the youngest is aged 2. I've lived in Chicago for close to a decade and was born and raised in Canada. I am a journalist by profession currently staying at home with the kids. I'm also involved in a number of volunteer projects and try to use my journalism degree by blogging, amongst other things.

So let's begin this adventure which I hope will benefit myself and other parents. I also hope that Insha Allah (God willing), as more parents find out about this blog, they'll share their great ideas, as I am always in need of expert advice on this journey called parenting. Bismillah Al Rahman Al Raheem (In The Name of God, the Compassionate, the Merciful).