Ramadan issue: should you let your kids fast?

It's a question many Muslim parents grapple with every Ramadan, as they struggle to fast themselves. Kids, especially younger ones who are still in the phase of wanting to copy their number one role models, want to fast. This despite the lengthening days (which are due to continue for at least four or five more Ramadans) and the heat of summer.

I've seen Muslim parents sway in both directions, and then some in between. The best approach I've seen is letting younger kids (under 10) fast part of the day, especially long ones like we're experiencing this year. Parents let them (or should I say insist on, since so many children want to roll full steam ahead) break for water and a small snack, then allow them to resume until the fast breaking at sunset. Most kids need just one or two breaks in addition to this.

The other alternative is encouraging kids to eat their breakfast at the regular time instead of waking up to eat Suhoor, the pre-dawn meal. With this approach, children have a full meal, drink a large amount of milk or water, then begin fasting from that point. This is probably more doable for the older kids.

From an Islamic perspective, fasting is not a requirement until a Muslim reaches puberty, the time when an individual is considered accountable before God. But in most cases I've seen, kids nevertheless want to start early, even becoming rude or rebellious at times (I know one seven-year-old this year who sneakily fasted all day behind his parents back). Peer pressure has a lot to do with it. Young kids who fast the whole day rub off on others. Or perhaps it's the challenge and the confidence boost a full day of fasting offers. Then again, maybe it's the age-old desire to be all grown up.

Regardless of the reasons, every child and every parent are unique and strength, stamina, as well as health issues all play a role in any decision taken. But parents should be on guard and watch their kids carefully, especially given the heat and exhaustion normal to summer. A child fasting quietly could be putting him or herself and danger, which is a violation of the very Islamic teachings that neither insist on children fasting, nor encourage the sick and weak to fast.

May we all have a fruitful Ramadan and may our children benefit from this blessed month in the best way, strengthening their own belief while maintaining the balance and moderation that are key to the Islamic way of life.